Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Oops Upside Your Head

I've been up and down and all over the place since the last post.

I managed to buy a PC on Ebay but it turned out to be a real pig in a poke. It fell apart when I opened the box, parts were misssing and it had numerous faults including a dead battery (obviously I left positive feedback to maintain my perfect image). After 5 days screwing it back together, working on the BIOS, formatting the HD and finally installing Windows and struggling with drivers and conflicts I eventually got the beast working. I frantically sketched down my ideas for songs before they slipped out of the thick, hazy semi-consciousness that is the all new me.

I was about to head off to the radio station for another night of dazzling repartee. Before I left I decided to check the programme schedule in case there was a new presenter on before me. I was stunned to discover that the station had shut down. I got in touch with the manager who presumed I had been sent an email telling me they were closing down due to lack of advertising. Nope. A week later I got an email saying they were starting up again and all was returning to normal. I found this all a bit weird and  wondered why they were fucking me about like this. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I said I  wasn't up to it just now and would not be returning meantime. He was really nice and said he hoped I would return at some point.

Now that I'm not spending my time preparing radio shows I have started getting involved with other musicians again and once a week going for a jam at a friend's house.

I forgot to say that I paid to have my new album distributed and it is available on various commercial sites including iTunes and Amazon. I also just bought some new recording equipment for the studio. I've also launched new websites as well as new profiles on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, etc.

Now, the reason I've forgot to mention these things is that I've not been so good these past couple of weeks. The usual stuff; spending more time in bed, not shaving, losing interest in everything, drinking more... and more. I usually try and hold off until making dinner at 4pm but have started having a fly one (or two) at lunchtime. I say a "fly one". Nobody knows but me but I am still trying to trick myself, such is the depth of my intelligence. "depth of my intelligence"... is that a real thing?

Anyway, unfortunately I see the dreaded shrink next week. We'll see what she has to say.

I'm thinking of returning this blog to it's original home as the original URL still tops the search for "uk bipolar blog". I feel guilty for leading folks to an empty page. Not that my crap is worth reading but surely arriving at a page of selfish drivel is better than arriving at a dead blank page.

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