Thursday, 25 October 2007

Mrs Mo has the shingles! Not nice at all, very sore. Fortunately as well as Acyclovir, the doc has prescribed her Solpadol which is helping and also helping her to sleep a lot of the time. She's on holiday this week but is due to start her new job next week, so we're hoping things improve for her quickly.

I was spared my monthly ordeal with the pirate last week. I had sat in the waiting room for 20 minutes when one of the cyborgs came over and said he wouldn't be coming as he had been called to an emergency and had to cancel all his appointments for the day. Hooorraaayyy! You would have thought doctors would arrange an emergency on-call rota before making appointments, especially as he only comes to my rural town once a month. But of course we are talking about the NHS here, which is far too busy organizing and managing it's own internal systems and protocols, it doesn't have time to consider ill people/patients/service users/customers/morons/twats/primordial swamp dwellers/amoebae. I don't know why I'm moaning, so what if they are wasting millions of taxpayer's money, I was just happy not to have to spend an hour enduring his boring, ineffectual musings and his patronising smile.

It was my sister's 50th birthday, so we took her and her husband up to the highlands for the weekend and had a really nice time just sauntering about. Well, I say a nice time, the scenery was nice but my sister is the most neurotic person on the planet and she spent a fair bit of time getting wound up about crossing the roads, noises in the woods, etc. and I spent a fair bit of time getting wound up about her, bless her little cotton socks.

My trips to the day centre are going downhill. The honeymoon period is over and now there seems to be constant mini-feuds ("I'm not letting her speak to me like that") among the clients and I find myself being drawn in and saying "Have you tried speaking to her and telling her how you feel?". Shit, the last thing I want to be doing is psychiatric nursing again. What is quite bizarre is that there are a couple of ex-patients who now work as paid staff in the unit, well they now behave exactly as nurses on the ward... they stay hidden in the office all the time, working on their computers to produce a newsletter about people they have virtually no contact with. Isn't that weird? It's just like nurses spending all their time doing care plans.

Despite all my moaning, I'm still happy. I have finally got my MAC code from AOL Calcutta after writing a formal complaint with a bleeding heart story about how I have a chronic mental illness and they were causing me undue distress... shame on me for playing the mad card... "eez it becos I is mad?". I've also had a response from Volunteer Scotland who left a message to say they have a couple of jobs in the pipeline for me. I'm also treating myself to a new semi-acoustic guitar (which Mrs Mo says will have to go away for Christmas, damn her!). So things are still going well and I'm fairly bubbly without being over the top. Rock on.

Wednesday, 17 October 2007

Things are still bumping along merrily for me at the moment. Although I'm still waiting for my MAC code from AOL... and my bus pass from the council... and a response from Volunteer Scotland, I am doing fine and in good fettle.

So much for the postal strike, hmmm, my NHS appointments arrived yesterday. The first one I got was to see Frau Hoff...

Unfortunately it was for today (which is the day I go to the day centre). It seemed a bit crazy not going out for the day to socialise, so that I could see an Occupational Therapist who was trying to find ways for me to get out of the house and socialize. So I phoned up the Community Mental Health Team to cancel the appointment. Needless to say I was greeted by a woman's voice recorded on an answering machine. Her droning monotone voice sounded very familiar... soon it clicked... it was the voice I'd heard as a child... the telephone operator on the Flintstones. I left my message and hung up before swearing. Such self control, I really must be getting better.

The second appointment was to see the pirate on Friday. Despite all my tantrums and throwing my toys out of the pram after my last visit, I guess I'll probably go.

There was a bit of friction at the day centre today as two of the younger dudes argued over the "house rules". It was pretty uncomfortable as the "facilitator" (i.e. the normal woman who runs the place) was off with the flu. It looked like things could kick off but the other punters distracted the guys with coffee and banter. My unease was detected by another woman who asked me if I was OK which was nice.

Wednesday, 10 October 2007

Things are still going pretty well here on Planet Mo at the moment. I've been staying relatively busy getting out for a walk everyday. I went to Glasgow at the weekend with my sister, also had a nice day on Monday with my wife, playing with my nephew's kids all afternoon. It's hard to say exactly how I am just now as I still find it hard to rate my mood. I'm certainly not hypomanic but at least I seem to be content.The only hassle I am having is my ongoing struggle to escape from AOL. I have phoned, emailed and written a letter of formal complaint. And so far I have had a similar hostile response to Vincent Ferarri. AOL really are bastards, never consider signing up with them!

Today I was back at the day centre which again went pretty well apart from folks being upset about one lady who was currently in hospital and had sneaked round to say hello to her friends. Everyone was very kind to her but very sad to see her sedated and tremulous. I didn't know her but it was quite emotional when she left and I couldn't help but get swept up in it.

I also went to the volunteer centre and had a great meeting with the manager there who was really nice and helpful and is confident about finding some sort of work for me. Yeah!!!

I think I'm probably due to see the pirate this week but hopefully I'll escape a visit to the Black Pearl as all appointments are probably stuck in the post due the UK postal strike. I doubt that even the wisest brains in NHS Mistrust have even thought of phoning people with their appointments. Shame really, as I have managed to curtail my drinking to about 30-40 units per week.

Thursday, 4 October 2007

The good times continue to roll. Yesterday I went across country to a day centre/self help centre run by "service users". I knew some of the folks there, I had met them in the bin years ago when I was a nurse. A couple of ex-patients now worked as facilitators and although they were now in the position of being lunatics who had taken over the asylum, I was the opposite, an asylum who had been taken over by a lunatic. It was a bit weird but it was nice, familiar, almost like going back home but without any of the hassle of having to work or mind my P's and Q's. Much to my surprise I think I enjoyed it.

This morning I was still enthusiastic so went downtown, got passport photos taken and applied for my bus pass. I met some folks who asked where I was working now. I laughed it off saying I wasn't working at the moment and when they pushed further, I said I was living a life of leisure before beating a hasty retreat. I was keen to get back home and stayed in this afternoon watching Pulp Fiction before making Fajitas for tea.

Tuesday, 2 October 2007

Things are going really well at the moment and I'm much more active. I have a general sense that everything is as it should be and going right. We had a nice weekend. As well as going out for a meal, we also went out for a long walk and I took some pictures....

I have been getting up and writing and recording for an hour or two most mornings then getting out for a walk in the afternoons before making dinner. I'm sleeping nicely, about 7-8 hours which is a good indicator of well-being for me. The weather has been glorious all week so yesterday I took the opportunity to get the garden tidied up while up above me I could hear the geese gaggling, flying south for the winter. Hopefully this will be a time of change for me as well as the seasons.